Instead, focus on making eye contact or mirroring the body language of the person you’re talking to. If you notice any stooping or arms or leg crossing, you’ll want to correct this, as this type of body language sends negative signals. It can be helpful to practice speaking in front of a mirror, or even record yourself in a video, to see if your body language transmits confidence. You could be saying all the right things at the right time, but if your body is telling a different story, people will notice it and will think that something doesn’t add up. Up to 90 per cent of our communication is non-verbal. Learn more about how the voice helps create a confident demeanour. Plan in advance where to pause, where to speed up, and which words or sentences to emphasise by raising or lowering your voice. This doesn’t mean that you should maintain a monotonous tone. You could be a motivational speaker, but if you try to make a speech when a plane is going down, you can be sure nobody is going to listen!” “Even the most brilliant speakers can be ignored if they choose the wrong time to speak. If it’s lower, it may be too slow to hold people’s attention, and if it’s too fast, your audience will feel lost. First, consider your rate of speech, which should be between 140 and 160 words per minute. Your voice is a fantastic asset if you know how to use it. This means that you only have a few precious seconds to get people’s attention. The human attention span has been decreasing over the past 15 years, and is currently estimated to be shorter than a goldfish’s (!) at just 8 seconds. If you realise you’ve chosen the wrong time and someone isn’t listening, you can just admit this isn’t the best time and say you can try again some other time, leaving it up to the other person. You could be a motivational speaker, but if you try to make a speech when a plane is going down, you can be sure nobody is going to listen! Whether you believe nobody is listening to you during specific moments or in day-to-day life, there are things you can implement to start being heard.Įven the most brilliant speakers can be ignored if they choose the wrong time to speak. This affects both professionals at work and students, so don’t feel that this problem is unique to you.

Online communication can be a bit chaotic and can easily lead to feeling unheard. For example, when giving a presentation at university or at work.įeeling unheard? Choose the right time to talkįurthermore, the widespread adoption of remote work and the deluge of Zoom meetings many people have been exposed to has created challenges to effective communication. But, in fact, being heard is not linked to being loud – in fact, a lot of people tune out the loudest person in a room because they’re overbearing.Īs well as feeling unheard on a daily basis, there are also specific occasions that lead you to think “nobody listens to me”. You may think, “nobody listens to me because I’m not a loud person, or because I don’t feel comfortable in front of others”. If you’re an introvert, this thought can be due to an inaccurate interpretation of what it really means to be introverted. It’s important to watch out for this line of thinking because “nobody listens to me” can evolve into a harmful “I don’t deserve to be heard”. If this happens often and for too long, you may come a point where you avoid expressing yourself due to the assumption you’re making (no one listens, so why bother). The problem lies in generalising past experiences into future expectations. If you think “nobody listens to me” by default, this may come from past experiences where you’ve felt unheard or someone has not taken into account your voice. But as their name suggests, the problem with limiting beliefs is that they create barriers to our growth and well-being. These are false or misguided ideas we create about ourselves, others, and how the world works. In this case, thinking “nobody listens to me” can be a limiting belief. For example, this idea can be like background noise something that’s always present. In everyday life, there are different situations where you may feel that nobody is listening to you.

If you often find yourself thinking “nobody listens to me”, there are steps you can take to try to ensure that your voice is heard and consequently boost your self-esteem. As humans, we need to experience acknowledgement and validation in order to feel valued, so when this doesn’t happen, it’s normal to feel rejected, neglected or invisible.

Dee Marques suggests eight ways for you to improve your chances of being heard.įeeling unheard by others around you can be a painful experience. Feeling like nobody is listening to you when you speak can be demoralizing and uncomfortable.

Have you ever felt are you listening